Developing Toughness Will Heal Your Life

Daily Meds XVI

Part of the healing process requires developing some toughness. But what does toughness even mean?

The world hears this directive and celebrates it, for the world associates toughness with anger. With rawness and realness. As usual, the world is wrong.

Toughness does not arise from violent protectiveness, but rather exposure, focus, and then more exposure. The callous of the master’s hands does not spring forth because he fights, but because he knows how to focus.

If you are in the daily fires of true pain, panic, or uncertainty, then this isn’t the lesson for you. Those modes of thought require total surrender and acceptance of the world. Those are the blisters of life, which hurt, but they will heal.

But if you have faced your demons, have developed healthy habits for coping and thriving, and yet still find yourself with nagging anxieties, it’s time to get a little tougher and finish the job. Being agreeable and compassionate as a general rule can really help bring clarity to a life of problems, but to feel fearless and confident you also need to develop a backbone, and that includes standing up to yourself.

The most difficult part of making real change in your life is the allure of stagnation. The mind craves safety first and foremost, and it will chain itself to a rock if that rock means another breath. However, the answer isn’t unbridled action, either. The novice acts without focus or inspiration. The master waits for soulful alignment, and then charges through the doubt with pure, positive intent.

You have to face difficult truths in this life and turn them into goals if change can be made, or abandon them if not. Don’t be afraid to throw away some things that aren’t working, even “positive” aspects of life.

Is your social media hiatus turning into an excuse to instead watch more online videos? Or is your new workout routine giving you an excuse to eat a dessert every night? Stop patting yourself on the back for net zero gains. Toughen yourself with repetition, and then reward yourself with unconditional love. Ease up on the criticism of the world, and instead focus that energy into developing your own callouses.

With practice and unconditional appreciation of the process, the mental toughness needed to defeat nagging anxiety will naturally develop. Like fire, your toughness will heal you.

Daily Meditations, or Daily Meds, are a collection of quick-hitting thoughts meant to help you focus your own personal meditative practice each morning. Read the Daily Med, but don’t dwell on it too long. Take the feeling into a fifteen minute meditation and see how your outlook slowly improves each day.

*If you’re just getting started on your spiritual journey, or want to better understand some of the terminology we use in Daily Meds, consider picking up The Integrity Method, the backbone of the IFL Club and all of its content.